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ThePotatoWalrus

Larry the Cable Guy vs Hillary Clinton

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I re-downloaded my personal scenario from forever ago and decided to give it a spin for the first time in about a year.

Our story starts with our hero, Larry the Cable Guy, down by crucial margins in many swing states, with some right-leaning states (Arizona, Georgia, Missouri, and Montana) being somewhat reluctant to support him.

Larry won the 2016 Republican Primaries mainly from deep Southern states, which gave him momentum on Super Tuesday, leading him to barely securing the nomination.

In order to take a crucial swing state, and unite establishment Republicans, Larry chose Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush as his running mate.

Right now, our hero's campaign looks like a definite longshot with only 68 more days left until the voters cast their ballots.

larrythecableguy.png

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Larry spent the next week going to contested states, mostly talking about his plans for ISIS and the economy, before swinging over to the Rust Belt and talking about NAFTA, with the occasional attack on Hillary's emails. Jeb Bush swung back to his home state, before drifting towards some reluctant Republican states.

Clinton spent most of her time attacking Larry, with many of her attacks being on the national news.

larrythecableguy.png

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The next week in his campaign was a controversial one for both candidates. He released an ad personally attacking Clinton for her emails, but it was taken negatively. Many people in the press called him a "one trick horse", and Clinton made remarks about how it is unethical for him to attack her record, when he doesn't even have one himself to go on.

The news was then dominated by Clinton slamming Larry the Cable guy for his position on the Confederate flag, which could be seen on Larry's pickup truck parked outside his campaign office. Our hero had no comments on the subject.

The Cable Guy campaign released its first ads today, with its first one being an attack on Hillary's position on NAFTA, and the second one a 15 second clip of Larry the Cable Guy drinking beer, and talking about how even intoxicated, he still had a better vision for the country than Secretary Clinton. Overall, it wasn't taken that well.

Later in the week however, the tables turned for the Former First Lady as the Cable Guy successfully spun Hillary passing out at the 9/11 Memorial in Larry's favor, as Larry said, "I may be a little big around the edges, but I can guarantee ya I got more stamina than herr"

The very next day, a report came through about Americans becoming increasingly overweight, and a damaging scandal came about that showed proof that Larry had been funneling campaign money to buy golf carts to drive around in at his house.

Larry attempted to save himself by saying, "at least them there cars I bought were made right here in 'Merica"

Jeb Bush is credited with saving some of Larry's momentum, as he had a few notable rallies that gained headlines, giving the campaign a slight electoral lead by taking Ohio, Iowa, North Carolina, Nevada, and Wisconsin.

larrythecableguy.png

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The next week was a crucial one for our hero's campaign. He released his most powerful ad ever, which attacked Hillary on her previous scandals, which gave him momentum. He spent a lot of time preparing for the debate next week as well, rehearsing with his running mate, Jeb Bush.

Another scandal came about for the Larry campaign, as it was revealed he continued buying golf carts with campaign money. Appearing frustrated, he said, "I told y'all once and I ain't sayin' it again. They're made right here in 'Merica."

Larry finally evened the score with Clinton in national polls, with some polls showing the other within the margin of error for the lead.

The McMullin campaign, while nearly minuscule in scale in every state but Utah, has burned down in an extremely damaging scandal.

larrythecableguy.png

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As if it couldn't get bad enough, the McMullin campaign had another scandal, even worse than the other one, take down the campaign.

Finally, Larry the Cable Guy has managed to pull ahead by a considerable margin the day before the debate, but still within the margin of error as a small scandal hurts the Clinton campaign.

Despite being a less-skilled debater and uninformed on the issues, Larry the Cable Guy used his charisma and humor to barely win over the people being polled, and he was crowned the winner by a small margin.

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1 minute ago, ThePotatoWalrus said:

As if it couldn't get bad enough, the McMullin campaign had another scandal, even worse than the other one, take down the campaign.

Finally, Larry the Cable Guy has managed to pull ahead by a considerable margin the day before the debate, but still within the margin of error as a small scandal hurts the Clinton campaign.

Despite being a less-skilled debater and uninformed on the issues, Larry the Cable Guy used his charisma and humor to barely win over the people being polled, and he was crowned the winner by a small margin.

I have to ask. Who is Larry the Cable Guy? I have never heard of him before.

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The next week was a good one for the Clinton campaign, as Tim Kaine won the debate by a decent margin against Jeb Bush, and she delivered a stirring speech about how she is more qualified than some comedian redneck.

The Cable Guy campaign mostly took this week as a week to hold comedy tours which doubled as fundraisers.

Another scandal hurt the Cable Guy campaign, though, instead of golf carts, this one attacked his personal morals, as many people questioned what his true intentions were in becoming the President.

 

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1 minute ago, Patine said:

I have to ask. Who is Larry the Cable Guy? I have never heard of him before.

Larry the Cable Guy is a famous comedian in the United States. He is a stereotypical American redneck, who loves beer, trucks, and flannel shirts. He is overweight, and definitely a Republican. He is mostly known for his comedy work however, which is actually quite hilarious sometimes.

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Besides a damaging scandal for Jill Stein, the next week of the campaign was extremely uneventful.

Larry spent most of his time preparing for the next debate, with small fundraising, leaving Jeb! to do all of the campaigning.

Larry, as he had trained for, won the debate by another small margin.

Larry holds on to his monster electoral lead from before, though, has not done any official campaign polling.

larrythecableguy.png

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The next week was very encouraging for Clinton, who had been struggling in the past few weeks. She rained in a lot of endorsements, as the Cable Guy failed to make any major headlines.

The Clinton campaign was attacked by many moderates and by our hero's supporters for being too negative, but has managed to even out the polls at about 20 days before the election.

In the final Presidential debate, Clinton came prepared, and shut down all of Larry's attempted jokes with facts, and pointed out Larry repeating many old jokes from his tours, and even the previous debate. Clinton even went as far as to label Larry as an extremist Southerner, while Larry reminded her he was from the midwest.

As the election gets closer, despite Larry holding an ever-decreasing lead, it is anyone's game as the margin of error can put both camps in the lead.

larrythecableguy.png

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In the next week, the Clinton campaign was hit by a damaging scandal about her funneling her money towards herself for personal use. However, she somehow managed to flip it after it was revealed she was spending it on her family.

Another uneventful week, less than two weeks before the Presidency.

The election looks like it's deadset for a Larry victory, though anything can happen.

larrythecableguy.png

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A terrorist attack shook the nation a week before the Presidency, and more of Hillary's emails were leaked by Wikileaks.

5 days remain until the voters cast their ballots in a historic and controversial election.

The Clinton campaign has made some strong gains in the past few days, and it appears that the election is now more contested, with many states now going back to undecideds.

Will our hero prevail? Can Clinton upset the campaign?

larrythecableguy.png

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Clinton made some very strong gains in the five days leading up to the election, while the Cable Guy used his many cash reserves to push out a multitude of final week ads, many attacking Clinton.

Clinton picked up many endorsements, and made a lot of good impressions on national TV, whereas the Cable Guy only made a few.

The national polls showed that not only did Larry lose the electoral lead, but he now only barely holds the popular vote.

On the final day, Hillary made a good impression on CNN, while Jeb! and Larry both made some trips to key battleground states.

The results are now coming in...

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As the first results come in, our hero's campaign takes an early lead, but less than 20% of the total expected turnout has voted.

election1.png

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As we head into the later stages of election day, we can see that Gary Johnson is absolutely outperforming his poll numbers and has taken a small lead in New Mexico, while Hillary has taken most of the Upper Rust belt.

election2.png

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It is now later in the day, and it appears many of Larry's followers have made it to the voting booth in their hungover state, giving Larry a monstrous lead.

election3.png

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It is over, the election is all but guaranteed. Despite never setting foot in the state, Larry has taken New York as 100% of the vote comes in. Democrats across the country are in a state of despair as they come to realize what the next four years will bring. Larry never had a real platform, and mostly told jokes along the campaign trail to win the hearts of voters. A historic day indeed for American politics.

election4.png

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The election was over hours before the final results came in. Former Secretary of State and First Lady Hillary Clinton personally called Larry to congratulate him on his victory and concede the election. Larry delivers his victory speech at a sold out sports stadium in Nebraska, and Libertarians across the country rejoice at the fact that they broke 5% in the election, guaranteeing them a lump sum of cash during the 2020 campaign, which will give them a definite edge.

Castle and McMullin couldn't make 1% of the vote, with many of McMullin's supporters going to Castle after numerous McMullin scandals.

Clinton officially retires from politics, and considers contesting the election, but ultimately doesn't.

Larry is sworn in as President, and begins his first days in office. However, across the country on the West Coast, a famous Pop Culture icon and celebrity laces up his $400 shoes, and steps out into the spotlight to declare his candidacy.

Kanye West 2020

election5.png

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If anyone is interested in this, I will definitely make a part two (possibly including the primaries) with Larry the Cable Guy up against whoever the Democrats will throw at him. It was fun booting up my scenario again after almost over a year.

I will do a part two only if someone found this one somewhat entertaining and would like to see another :P 

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Larry is sworn in and executes his position with less expertise than those before him, and is compared mainly to Gerald Ford. As the awe wears off, his approval drops to the low 40's, and he considers resigning, but chooses not to.

He lets Jeb! handle many of his Presidential duties, while serving mostly as a ceremonial President. He mostly ignores many situations in foreign countries, but does manage to peak the national economy, and work on many domestic issues.

Abroad, he worsens relations with Russia, and especially China. The tensions rise in North Korea, leaving the state more volatile and powerful than before due to his tactical patience. By the time 2020 rolls around, his Presidency, though while not widely considered a failure, is considered unpopular, and the American people want change.

Kanye West is one of the first Democrats to throw his hat into the ring, which was expected due to his obvious hinting during the Presidency.

Larry is now put into a worse position than he was back in 2016, and Jeb! has now resigned as his running mate now that the campaign has rolled around, but still assumes his office as Vice President.

Again, I will do a 2020 only if someone found this one entertaining enough to want one.

election6.png

election7.png

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19 minutes ago, ThePotatoWalrus said:

Larry is sworn in and executes his position with less expertise than those before him, and is compared mainly to Gerald Ford. As the awe wears off, his approval drops to the low 40's, and he considers resigning, but chooses not to.

He lets Jeb! handle many of his Presidential duties, while serving mostly as a ceremonial President. He mostly ignores many situations in foreign countries, but does manage to peak the national economy, and work on many domestic issues.

Abroad, he worsens relations with Russia, and especially China. The tensions rise in North Korea, leaving the state more volatile and powerful than before due to his tactical patience. By the time 2020 rolls around, his Presidency, though while not widely considered a failure, is considered unpopular, and the American people want change.

Kanye West is one of the first Democrats to throw his hat into the ring, which was expected due to his obvious hinting during the Presidency.

Larry is now put into a worse position than he was back in 2016, and Jeb! has now resigned as his running mate now that the campaign has rolled around, but still assumes his office as Vice President.

Again, I will do a 2020 only if someone found this one entertaining enough to want one.

election6.png

election7.png

And what, he'll have four years of jokes to use as achievements to run for a second term on? I don't think even all Republicans have that much of a sense of humour (certainly Ted Cruz and Neil Bolton come to mind as two who definitely don't).

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@ThePotatoWalrus I would like to see more.

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4 hours ago, Reagan04 said:

@ThePotatoWalrus I would like to see more.

agreed

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